For me, at least when it comes to surface value things, I’m scared of a lot of things. Creepy crawly spiders that can scurry their way into my open mouth while I am dead asleep; great white sharks that become the top of the food chain the moment I step foot into any body of salt water(I haven’t even been to the ocean since maybe 2002!). Horror movies. Sweaty, hairy feet. Snakes and mice. Being in a plane, especially since 9/11. Heights. Snarling little dogs that try to bite my ankles(I’ve been chased down the road by a pug before!). Wasps and hornets(that used to include bees, but my sister is since then a beekeeper, so now I am just wary of them).
That list is long, sure enough. I’m sure everybody has their own list of things that freak them out to no end. As I said before, however, those fears are just surface value things, tangible things that I could either avoid or overcome.
What about beneath the surface, though? Deep down where nobody could ever see my reaction–what about those fears? I know you all know what I’m talking about. Those fears that eat away at your thoughts when nobody is around, making you anxious and scared to live your life? What about those?
For me, there’s a few of them. Dying due to the Diabetes I was diagnosed with at the age of 5. Growing old and dying alone due to never having a husband and children of my own; my ex husband is currently having a baby with the woman he had an affair with when we were together, so that fear of mine is definitely running strong at this point. I believe this also has to do with how my father lived his last years–living in a tiny apartment without a license till the day he was taken to the hospital and passed away. Dying without ever contributing to society in some way, whether it is writing a book or running a rescue ranch for animals.
Whatever those dark fears are, we all have them. I would be willing to bet that they are all along the same line as well, as we are all humans and we all have the same genetic build to us. Deep down, I bet the same kind of fear is whispering to you within the corners of your mind, just like mine whisper to me.
I’ve shared mine with you. What are your fears?
~Marie E. R.
(image by http://www.whitecoatblacksheep.com)