A Love Letter

So every once in a while I do these random journal entries from writing prompts that I find on Pinteret. I saw this prompt: “Write a Love Letter”. I thought, “This might be a good exercise”. I’m currently not dating anybody, not by choice but because I just haven’t felt that “spark” with anybody that chose to stick around, and the ones I did feel the “spark” with either didn’t stick around or just weren’t interested, for whatever their reason. So writing a love letter, though I am not in love with nor just in a romantic partnership with anybody, would kind of be stepping outside of a box for me. That’s the point of an exercise anyway, right? To put yourself in discomfort for the sake of bettering yourself? So here goes.

“Dear future love,

I’m not great at vocalizing how I feel. I tend to want to just brush words off, as most spoken words don’t really hold the emotions I want to convey. I am a firm believer in showing how I feel rather than in telling. Getting up in the morning, brewing us coffee and bringing you the first cup poured from the kettle, made to your specific taste–that’s one of the ways that I try to show you how much I love you.

However, I do understand that words, spoken or written, are part of showing somebody–you–that I love you. So let me use my skills of the written word to tell you about my feelings for you. That will do these emotions better justice than I ever could in vocalizing them.

I’m not going to tell you how much I love the feel of your hair beneath my fingers, nor will I tell you how much I love to gaze into your eyes. Nor will I tell you how much I love your body; granted, those are all very nice things to say and hear, and I do love all of those things, I’m sure, but all that stuff is superficial! We both know that eventually our looks, our firm bodies and attractive faces will lose its youth and fade away. Then what would me saying I love them really mean? That my love for you will fade as well. No, I won’t do that. I will put my love in more lasting, more meaningful things.

I will tell you that I love you for helping me with my Diabetes. I know it can be stressful and taxing to deal with a person who has Diabetes–the constant doctors visits, the cost of the prescriptions, the times where my blood sugars are high and I am being bitchy and the moments where my blood sugars are so low that I am being incoherent and dropping the damned peanut butter jar twenty times. Most likely this will be a thankless struggle, as we both know that most likely my Diabetes will be the death of me. But you stick with me, remind me to do my blood sugar tests, ask me how I’m feeling, make sure that we have healthy options in the house for me to eat—all without asking or getting frustrated. I love you for that. I will love you for that.

I love you for loving me even though I’m a huge procrastinator. Doctors’ calls, prescription orders, taking the garbage out and doing the dishes–these are things we both know I love to put off till the last possible moment, sometimes to the point where things need to be moved to another due date. I love you for dealing with that, even though I’m sure I’d save us both a lot of grief if I just got a jump on all of that. You bear with me through all of that. I love you, will love you, for that.

I love you for dealing with my work with animals, for putting up with the dog slobber, the cat hair, the animal toys all over the house, for hot, stinky breath panting in our faces at 4 in the morning, asking to be taken out. I love you for never telling me no when I want to bring another animal home, whether it’s as a foster animal or as a permanent furever-home. You understand that to love me means to accept and love the fact that helping and loving animals is part of who I am. Thank you so much for accepting that and being okay with it. I love you for it.

I love you for so many reasons, physically, emotionally and personality-wise. You have taken this mess of a person and loved me in spite of all my flaws and my problems. Thank you so much for loving me, in advance.

Love always,

Marie R.

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