I’m not a fussy person, when it comes to relationships. I don’t need fancy jewelry, expensive chocolates and exotic flowers sent to me to impress me. I don’t need to be whisked off to Paris for a weekend of fun. I don’t need 8-week old puppies brought to me daily so I can use them to dry myself off after my daily shower. I don’t need to be taken to fancy restaurants or on shopping sprees to have money blown on me for no good reason. I don’t need any of those things, and I make sure that whoever I am involved with knows this.

I do, however, need the person on the other side of the relationship to show some damned class.

I use dating sites to meet people, because frankly, it’s hard to meet anybody in rural Maine. Especially without a vehicle(hopefully that will be fixed shortly). I know that dating sites are known for their crass members, people looking for one night stands or just somebody for the benefit of the physical relationship. However, I make sure to put in my profile that I am not looking for those things. I let people know right off the bat that though I may not be looking for marriage at the moment, I am definitely not looking for something that only lasts one night.

It’s funny, then, how people approach me on these dating sites. I wish I saved the messages I get from the guys on these things, because some of them are just mind-blowing. I get things like, “hot body” or “hey beautiful” or “wanna get f***ed”. Like, for real, it’s cray-cray the ways some people approach a person for the first time. When I message somebody for the first time, I take a look over their profile, find something that we both have in common and make a pretty lengthy message about the common interest and how it would be worthwhile to get to know each other because of it. Or, if we don’t have much in common, I will ask them about the thing that interests me on their profile, like if they snowboard or whatnot. But no. I get, “You’re hot” or “You’re sexy”. It’s like they don’t even put in an effort, they just see my image on the website and start panting. I’m not even that hot! I’m an average-looking woman, I just dress well and carry myself respectfully.

I guess maybe the reason why this is shocking to me is because I have standards of what I look for in a man. I like a man with class. A man who dresses well, thinks intelligently, has a great sense of humor, who is also into nerdy things such as myself–that’s the kind of man that I look for. I usually look for a man that has an education that is near my own, so that I know that they will appreciate what I have been through to get my education, as well as the fact that I know we will have decent conversations, not just something about sports or whatnot. Maybe these standards are what make me think to myself, what the hell were they thinking by sending me that as their first message.

I guess if the woman who they are messaging with these comments are into that sort of thing and looking for the same outcome, then it will work out for them. It’s just strange that I get them when I put in my profiles that I am looking for something more than a hookup. But then, if they’re not even reading my profile and they come at me like that, then it’s saving me the hassle of getting to know them before they show their true colors. Who knows.

There’s my thoughts for the day. Enjoy.


2 thoughts on “Standards

  1. I’ve never quite understood the “locker room” conversations that some guys have – I’m guessing the first line of conversation is similarly idiotic (never been chatted up by a sporty-mc-sporto guy, for obvious reasons lol).


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